Forty First dates
Once my Viral Joe story went…viral…I knew that I was on to something.
People love dating content. I love dating content. I love watching reality dating TV shows. I am hooked on modern dating culture because I have been in it for years. I know all the pop psychology terminology; attachment styles, black cat/golden retriever, love languages, polyamory lingo etc. It’s a wild world out there, and I am well versed. I am a standard story in the world of dating, a single white female seeks a partner in crime who won’t feel like a complete waste of time.
I am going on forty first dates to find ‘the one’.
I came up with this idea after everyone in the comments of my Viral Joe video said I look like Drew Barrymore. Drew’s movie with Adam Sandler, ‘50 First Dates’ is one of my favourite feel good movies.
So here we have - Forty First Dates. I think I picked forty because my 40th birthday just passed. Forty first dates already sounds exhausting.
BUT I have already been on two first dates. Oops! I should have told you. teehee
The first first date of forty first dates was with Armenian Joe. You can read all about our moments if you click on his name. He is a great guy but sadly, not the guy for me. He is 34 years old and wants babies and I am 6 years older than him, so if he doesn’t want babies tomorrow then we shouldn’t waste our time. I deluge more of my thoughts on having a baby here.
Then I went on a second first date with my surfer crush… not sure if I would even call it a ‘date’. He met me at the beach for sunset and I assumed we were going for dinner around that area. About 40 mins before sunset he says he is getting really cold and he wants to go home and get a sweater, then we can finish watching the sunset by the cliff.
Cool, I thought, I haven’t been to the cliff yet.
When we got to his place, he told me to make myself at home. I thought we were just getting sweaters. He says he has to go to the washroom, he sets up his laptop with a sunset scene. It was a live feed of the beach we were just on.
This is so weird…but maybe he has to shit.
He comes back and tries to kiss me with his newly brushed teeth. I pulled back, “I thought we were going to see the sunset! This was your plan all along!” He laughs and says, “we will miss the sunset by the time we get to the cliffs”.
I said “but that’s what I wanted to do…”
He says okay, and pulls me closer for another make out attempt.
We kiss but I am annoyed. So I pull back again.
I firmly tell him that I am not hooking up with him. “I’m hungry and want food, I thought we were going to get food”. He said that nothing was good around where he lives so he would rather go to the grocery store and cook something. So that’s what we did.
After dinner he rolled a joint and half way through smoking it, I ordered an Uber home. He said he would have driven me home in the morning. Wow. Presumptuous. I was annoyed. I ate his food and smoked half of his joint and went home.
He tried to make last minute plans with me a few more times but I couldn’t be bothered. Make a real plan. The old me would have kept him around for a good time. The new me has enough of a good time on her own.
And that’s my problem. I love being single.
It is not easy to impress me these days, especially when I have been given the princess treatment in the past. I want to be spoiled by a man who adores me, and who I respect.
In order to respect them, I have to keep my boundaries in check. The only way for me to do that is by writing them down to keep me accountable.
So here are the guidelines for 40 First Dates:
No physical intimacy for as long as I see fit. I said five dates in the past and that seems reasonable, but I don’t want to put a number on this. No certain amount of dates or time will let me know if someone is right for me…but going on five consecutive dates without intimacy usually gets rid of the guys who are only in it for one thing. Some people say don’t kiss for three months, but that seems absurd…we all have needs.
They must be attractive to me. (seems obvious but I have given many mids a chance)
They are not allowed at my apartment until further notice…I have a strict no boys allowed policy, so their place better be nice.
We must have aligned goals for the future. - children and retirement talks before the first date because let’s be on the same page about that…or what are we even doing here?
They need to have the attributes of a provider man who wants to spoil me, because that is what makes me feel secure in a relationship. Someone who can take care of me, so I have the capacity to take care of them in return.
I go into more details about the man that I am manifesting here.
If I don’t go through with these forty first dates then I will most likely remain single forever. Which I have also come to terms with. But if I do go on all these dates and I remain single, then at least I gave it my best shot! Hopefully I don’t have to go on too many first dates because I have better boundaries now….or do I?!
I guess we will find out…
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